False Starts at Bedtime

You did it—your baby finally fell asleep. You tiptoe out of the room, settle in to relax, maybe even start eating dinner… and boom. Thirty minutes later, they’re crying again like bedtime never happened.

Welcome to the frustrating world of false starts.

This is one of the most common things I hear from tired parents:

“She goes down fine, but then wakes up crying 30–45 minutes later, like bedtime didn’t count. Why does this keep happening?”

Let’s break it down—and talk about how to fix it.

What Is a False Start?

A false start happens when your baby falls asleep at bedtime, but then wakes shortly afterward—usually within the first hour of sleep—and needs help going back down. It feels like a night waking, but it’s actually different.

Think of it like this: bedtime wasn’t the start of a full night of sleep—it was just a nap in disguise.

Why Do False Starts Happen?

There are a few common culprits:

1. Overtiredness

If your baby is running on empty, their body is flooded with cortisol (a stress hormone that makes it harder to sleep deeply). They may crash quickly at bedtime but then stir easily and struggle to connect sleep cycles.

💤 Solution: Try adjusting your wake windows or moving bedtime earlier. Sometimes even 15–20 minutes can make a huge difference.

2. Undertiredness

On the flip side, if your baby isn’t tired enough, they might fall asleep easily out of habit… but not stay asleep for long.

💤 Solution: Take a look at your last nap of the day. Was it too long or too close to bedtime? Consider capping that nap or extending the final wake window slightly.

3. Feeding-Sleep Association

If your baby is feeding right before sleep and drifting off at the breast or bottle, they may be waking confused, looking to recreate that exact experience.

💤 Solution: Try to separate feeding and sleep by 10–15 minutes. A short book, diaper change, or song can act as a gentle buffer.

4. Inconsistent Routines

If the bedtime routine changes from night to night—or your response to night wakings is unpredictable—your baby may feel unsure about what to expect.

💤 Solution: Babies love predictability. Keep your bedtime routine consistent, and respond to night wakings the same way each time to build trust and confidence.

5. Developmental Milestones

Rolling, crawling, standing… these new skills can disrupt sleep temporarily, especially in the evening hours.

💤 Solution: Give them plenty of practice time during the day and stay consistent with your sleep approach. It often passes within a week or two.

How Do I Know It’s a False Start vs. a Normal Waking?

A false start typically happens within the first hour of bedtime and feels like your baby never really settled into deep nighttime sleep.
A true night waking occurs later in the night—usually after one full sleep cycle (around 90 minutes) or more.

Can You Fix False Starts Without Full Sleep Training?

Sometimes, yes! False starts can often be corrected by tweaking routines, wake windows, or how you handle bedtime. But if your baby doesn’t know how to fall asleep independently yet, that might be the root cause—and a more structured plan could help.

Final Thoughts

False starts are frustrating, but they’re also a signal: your baby’s sleep needs some fine-tuning. The good news? Once you uncover why it’s happening, you’re usually just a few small changes away from a smoother night.

If you’re stuck trying to figure it out—or if nothing seems to be working—I’m here to help. You don’t have to navigate